The sweetness of her voice carried over the phone as we discussed a time to meet. I could hear unspoken nerves waivering through. She’s working through something, I thought to myself. I wonder what her story is.

“I would never do this for myself.”

— Tia

Sitting across from each other for the first time, I could see Tia was finding a way to express exactly why she was there. “I would never do this for myself,” the words escaping her lips like the carbonation from an untapped bottle of soda. “I’m doing this for my boyfriend. He’s good to me - he’s too good to me.” Her fingers twisted her ring as she continued. “He thinks I’m beautiful. I’ve never thought I was - but he does and he wants nice pictures of me, pretty pictures. He wants me to see my pretty.”

A gentle smile overtaking my face, I was delighted she had the courage to meet with me. I could see what her boyfriend saw, the gentleness in her eyes, the warm glow of her skin, a sweet and nurturing spirit beaming from her. You could tell she loved the people in her life fiercely.

”How do you want to see yourself?” I asked, leaning in to hear her answer.

She stammered for a moment, not quite sure how to answer.

”It’s okay. Take your time. It’s a tough question to answer.”

Tia laughed nervously.

Her blue eyes studied me intently. ”I want to feel good about myself. I want to look young and fresh - how I feel inside. I want to see how Tom sees me. I want to see I’m beautiful.” Her answer was monotone but earnest.

”What makes someone beautiful to you?” I prompted, further delving into how she may want to get to know herself.

The sun began to set behind the treeline as she began to answer. A ray of light splayed across her golden hair as she said “Oh, I don’t know. I think when people are happy. I think Happy is beautiful.”

The soft smile on my face grew. “I like that. When are you happiest?”

Tia went on to explain how Tom made her feel, how she’d been in difficult relationships before with people who always wanted more or better from her even when she was trying her hardest. Her cheeks flushed as she talked about how he treated her like a princess, how he loved her and doted on her and how she couldn’t believe she’d met someone who cherished her. It made her start to feel differently about herself, a change I could even see unfolding right in front of my eyes as her shoulders relaxed and her face became more animated as she talked about her time with Tom.

She was ready to start loving herself.

There's a fire that's burned since 1962 in a small town in Pennsylvania called Centralia. Originally a coal mining town, Centralia was once full of life. Nearly sixty years ago now, Centralia's thriving promise took a devastating turn when a coal vein caught fire. As coal veins run deep into the earth, the fire has had an endless source of fuel to feed on. Now, the town is mostly abandoned save a few dwindling members. The ground has become unstable the longer the fire has continued to burn out the layers beneath. The air constantly stinks of smoke and ash. It's truly a sorrowful situation.

We've all been wronged. We've all been betrayed and demeaned. Many of us have been hurt by our closest loved ones. That pain? It can run deep. There's a conscious moment where we decide what to do with our pain. We can either forgive and work through it or we can wallow in it and let it fester.

Festering pain leads to bitterness which will run deep within us, just like a burning coal vein. It will eat away at our joy, happiness and the positive aspects of who we are. If we let it, it will consume us. We will reek of anger and disparity repelling our friends and family. We will collapse from within and our lives will be hollow and lonely.

Forgiveness is powerful. It can be the more difficult choice but it is life changing. It releases you, it releases the person who wronged you. It builds your character and impact instead of tearing you down.

Bitterness is a choice just as much as forgiveness. If you don't release if, it's going to eat you away.