“Being there for someone you need, it was that much more important . . . Seeing my own child struggle, It gives you a new perspective on people’s internal struggles. You really truly don’t know how bad it is for them.”

— Stacie

We met with Stacey during the first portion of our Inspiring Women's Stories series. Having been only the second time we'd met Stacie, we had no idea the story we were in for. It was moving to hear the honest unveiling of her daughter's struggle with an eating disorder and how Stacie and her family coped and handled her treatment. Click the video below to listen to Stacie's story of grieving and growth as a mother and individual after her daughter was diagnosed and underwent treatment for anorexia.

Standing in front of my full length bedroom mirror, I wasn't faced with self-loathing. I was, however, uncomfortable and fighting the urge to cringe. "But wait, I'm happy with myself" rang in my ears followed by an almost inaudible"...or, am I?" I covered myself and made sure I couldn't be seen. I told my husband to ignore me as I called myself an elephant, to which he lovingly declined. This was three days ago. That moment has sat with me since and, now, I'm ready to face it... sort of. Often, when referring to love, I see the quote "if he doesn't love you at your worst, he doesn't deserve you at your best." When facing MYSELF at my "worst," I feel shameful to admit that I don't hold myself to that same standard. It's incredibly easy for me to be excited about "self love" when I'm happy with who I am and happy with my appearance. Over this last year, I've been gaining weight and have gradually stopped looking in the mirror. I encouraged myself that it was because I was learning to love who I was and not what I looked like - I struggle with those lines getting blurry. While that's where my intentions started, I let my health slip and then I started to let my exploration-of-loving-me-for-me turn into an avoidance of the mirror. I noticed the little cornerstones - the extra rolls, my thighs rubbing together and the development of my less-than-defined jawline. I wasn't used to this. I've always been a fairly athletically built person and so, I kept telling myself "I probably think I look worse than I do." There's SO much truth in that statement and, yet, I started to use it asa tool of denial and avoidance. The moment I was embarrassed of what I saw, I realized I needed to address the problem - a problem that goes beyond my appearance. I'm getting back to being healthy and more fit and I'm also focusing back in on myself so that I can cultivate self love. My biggest lesson from this is that it is easy to love ourselves when we are in our "ideal" state but we also need to love ourselves at our "worst." #embracingme

I'm conflicted on writing this post. I'm uncomfortable. While I talk fairly openly about living with depression, I usually stray away from sharing whilst I'm amidst the deeper struggles. It's difficult, not only on a personal level but a professional level, sharing openly. I feel the need for a nap creeping up as I continue. . . I often fear the repercussions and shy away from sharing what could truly damage me. As I type this out, I'm trying to convince myself it would be okay not to post this. Fact is, there's a reason this is on my heart and I'm going to trust that small voice.

The past two months have been a struggle; my mind and body especially weighted by the cold, dreary weather that's been extending its stay. I've needed sunshine and green life. I've felt like I'm wasting away without it. I've had a couple bouts of depression in this time which have left me with little energy, struggling to get out of bed or out of the house and eventually this state also brought several rounds of colds. I've hardly seen my studio as of late. My work has come home with me - a fact I've felt guilty about. "I have a studio for a reason and a comfortable separation of home life and work" my brain keeps reminding me. I haven't gotten as much work done as I would like but, I'm still okay. I'm still following through, and I've prioritized well enough to only work on what's necessary.

Most importantly, I've been working on being gracious to myself, knowing that if this were the flu I'd be giving myself all the time I needed to rest and heal. I've been reminding myself it's okay to be home. And today, as I'm starting to come out of this darkness, I've let myself be where I need to be - at home, outside in the sun with my puppies, breathing fresh air, drinking water, running my toes through the grass, appreciating the twinkling of the sunlight through the emerging leaves, feeling the warm breeze against my skin and listening to the birds calling. I'll get to the work awaiting my attention on my dining room table, I trust myself. For now, I'm focused on being exactly where I need to be and it's my wish you can do the same for you when you need it.

She's turning 30 soon, Chandni, and wanted to celebrate with a special gift to herself. This is something she'd wanted to do ever since she could remember coming across the idea. After putting it off and focusing on her career and personal development she knew, with the milestone of her 30th birthday approaching, this was the time to celebrate herself!

"I want to do something that's...different" Chandni said during our consultation and design session. Never really being one for wearing much makeup, she wanted to explore that part of herself - even learn a few tips along the way from Kirby, our stylist. We talked about creating an aesthetic that complimented her quiet and courageous soul. As Chandni is also going through training to be a yoga instructor, she wanted to include a relaxed natural look which she could use for her classes. Knowing we were going to start from a natural base, we talked about colors, mood and planned out the gowns she was going to wear from natural glam to deep glam in a design that would recognized her chic elegance. Seeking inspiration from her favorite Bollywood actresses, we swapped glamorous makeup ideas ranging from chic and simple to dark and strong.

 Chandni has finally seen her portraits and, man, I'm SO excited to share her glamour experience with you!! Here are a few of her favorites and a really cool behind the scenes video of her day with us!